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1 Apr

4 things we wish were an April Fool’s Day prank but are not!

April Fool's Day

Today is no regular weekday, not only it is the umpteenth day of our self-isolation but it is also April 1st aka ‘jokes on you’ day. Though it is highly unlikely that someone jumps out (or post on Instagram) and yells “April Fools! Trump isn’t really the president of a nuclear-armed country” but a man can hope, right?

Every year on this day, the internet used to be flooded with absurd announcements, elaborate pranks or bogus deals to lure you in. However, when the world is standing still and there isn’t much to make fun of (unfortunately), a hearty laugh is all we need in this time of crisis. The time is such that every April Fool’s Day joke we can think of is actually happening. Unluckily, even Google (who has been a poster child for April Fool’s shenanigans) has cancelled all its pranks.

But still isn’t life crazy enough to give us a few real things that — surprisingly — aren’t actually jokes. Though we wish they were. Regardless of whether they elicit a chuckle or an eye roll, here are our top 4 picks:


1. Coronavirus scare



With the COVID-19 pandemic and its long-term consequences, the world is facing an unprecedented crisis. Being the fortunate ones, we are taking refuge in our homes but are still going crazy in front of our computer/mobile screens. We hope to wake up one fine day to realize that it was all a long shooting schedule of a Hollywood movie like Contagion and it’s over! Conspiracy theorists do suggest that the disease is man-made and it’s a biological warfare but at this time we are happy to accept any theory just to put an end to this trauma.


2. Chances of Maula Jatt being postponed AGAIN!



We have waited and waited and then we heard one good news that The Legend of Maula Jatt will be releasing this Eid ul Fitr. But then emerged the corona crisis, and movie theaters all over the world have been closed. Now that over a month is left until its release date, our hope is dying that the film will get to see light of the day, at least not any time soon. We don’t want to say and jinx it but we hope that with four films — TLOMJ, Money Back Guarantee, Neelofar and Aan — we get to see Fawad on the big screen at least once this year. Pretty please!


3. Actors taking a break from showbiz



Hamza Ali Abbasi announced last year that he will be taking a break from showbiz. Feroze Khan has also made a similar announcement recently and we can’t resist asking WHY? After seeing Hamza’s performance in Alif, we want to see more of him on-screen and similar is Feroze’s angry young man persona in Ishqiya, which by the way is the saving grace of an otherwise disastrous Ishqiya. Though we applaud the reasons for their decisions, as fans of the art and artists, we don’t want them to take a break.


4. Dramas dilemma



Fool me once, shame on you… Fool me twice, shame on me! This aptly describes (most) Pakistani dramas today.

We would take this opportunity and emphasize that like Marvel and DC (no comparisons drawn whatsoever), Pakistani dramas should also establish a universe which at least resembles the 21st century to a certain extent. There isn’t no concept of mobile phones and internet in our plays, which drives us bonkers. There exist no creature like an independent woman who is calm, composed, not a vamp and a home breaker. Also, our writers should take a crash course on how to portray a victim of emotional abuse, rape, assault and then emerge as a survivor. We are not ready to see more of our strong girls wither away just like Cheekh, Ruswai, Surkh Chandni; take a hint from Uyare, Chhapaak and Thappad.



Syeda Zehra

The author is Assistant Editor at Something Haute. A journalist by profession, the writer has a penchant for films, fashion and music.