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31 Jul

7 people (or things) that would make a better Prime Minister for Pakistan

For people who couldn’t take the pressure in the last few days and hid under their beds, the Panama verdict was out this weekend and is still inciting curiosity as we speak. The news, which spread faster than Game of Thrones spoilers on all forums, hasn’t exactly left some people happy with the decision, and it seems it has left us yet again with no Prime Minister. So, naturally, we thought we would fulfill our civic duty and compile a list of candidates that are going to be no doubt if nothing else, “smarter” with their conduct.

  1. Sheikh Rasheed

This one because we are still in the midst of our fanboy moment with the Pindi king and his cigar on top of a container #catchmeifyoucan. And at least we’ll finally have a prime minister who is a little more entertaining and a little less frustrating than Nawaz Sharif.

  

2. Meera Jee

She has managed to successfully remain in our hearts and on our screens and it’s only time we award her with the office because hey, we’ve pretty much elected every buffoon that can provide an enthusiastic speech and a catchy party jingle.

 

3. Geoffrey Baratheon

Even a Geoffrey Baratheon would have made for a smart Prime Minister than Nawaz Sharif because at least he’ll know how to get away with it.

 

4. Gormint Aunty

Watch out Justin Trudeau, because Gormint aunty in the parliament is all we want to restore our faith in the system.

 

5. A rock

Just because even a rock would look out for the release date on “Calibri” while preparing fake documents.

 

6. A plate of biryani

The single item that has the power to bring in more voters than a Fawad Khan Bollywood movie and if the power of biryani doesn’t scare you, watch out.

 

 

7. Literally anyone in the world

If we’ve learned anything from our years of watching law and order shows and our obsession with a one Viola Davis, has taught us it is that Nawaz Sharif and the clan really could have put up a better fight and it was one mind boggling to wall punching trial that they just fell deeper and deeper into. We’re sending you the bill for our therapist and we expect a full reimbursement from any of your offshores. Thank you.

 

 

 

Haider Maqsood

The author is our Haute Lahore Correspondent, who's a part time writer with a full time passion to stay candid and loud!