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4 Mar

Warning: Approaching Valentine’s Day!

Published in Instep, The News on Feb 8, 2010 I’d have to agree with Ashton Kutcher in hating Valentine’s Day. I hate it with a vengeance. Valentine’s Day is when people in love start painting the town red. As if we didn’t get enough red on a daily dose of betel juice that is spat into public walls. But no, red to Valentine’s Day affectees symbolizes all those mush brained couples who like flaunting the fact that they’re in love…with each other. How corny is that…statement, not question. As far as I see it, come February and ugliness as well as tackiness starts setting down in town. Lovers (and losers who just want to pose as lovers) start picking up on hints of...
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4 Mar

Cosmetic surgery is the new painkiller

Published in Instep, The News on Feb 1 I’m 35 years old and every time I look into the mirror I feel that a slight lift of the eyebrows would make my forehead look so regal…I close my eyes and think of Rekha and her winged brows. Then I pull the skin on my face back and think of the wonderful fillers that could erase the gentle laugh lines appearing around my mouth to get that smooth flawless look. At that point I think of Elizabeth Taylor, who I admit isn’t the best person to fantasize looking like anymore. Okay, okay…all you people who know me know I need much, much more than little nips and my makeover begins with a...
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