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7 Oct

Punjab Nahin Jaungi? Magar Kyoooon?

We’re looking forward to Humayun Saeed and Mehwish Hayat rekindling their chemistry on the big screen in Punjab Nahin Jaungi but we can’t help wonder why? Who is this girl and why won’t she go to Punjab? What does she have against Punjab that a film title has been devoted to NOT going to Punjab.

A couple of reasons we could come up with:

1. It’s too hot and there’s too much load shedding

Anyone who’s been to Lahore will vouch for the fact that bijli comes two hours and goes every third. Why would anyone want to subject themselves to that torture especially when there is no sea breeze?

2. There’s no biryani, only pulao. And I’ll have to give up haleem for paye.

Yep, Punjab is a place for yakhni pulao and biryani fans often suffer from acute withdrawal symptoms. Plus, the chili chips in Punjab aren’t half as good in Karachi. Uppar sey, Punjab has a paye eating culture (thank you, Nawaz Sharif) and there’s no Karachi Haleem.

3. No beach, no sea.

That’s the obvious reason. Punjab doesn’t have a beach; no sea, no Sandspit, no French Beach and bikinis wouldn’t work so well on Ravi. Plus, Ravi does not cut it and the canal is muddy. So what if there’s water in the taps?

4. No wine!

So one has heard from guzzlers that there’s no wine at after-parties in Lahore, only Vodka and Whisky because a case of red wine can cost up to 50,000 rupees and no one wants to spend on that. A certain guest who asked for a glass of Rosé got a glass of cranberry juice with a shot of Vodka. Oops, sorry, are we still pretending that no one drinks in Pakistan?

5. The weight, the fat!

Chances are that you’ll get fat in Lahore because no one works until you’ve had two cups of tea and a samosa. Mithai will get you even further in life. And life revolves around food. Who needs love when there is food? Buss, this is why Punjab Nahin Jaungi!

 

Staff Reporter