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3 Apr

Are you ready for Raasta, and then its sequel?

The best thing about Raasta is the blatant attempt to recreate Sharukh Khan and Kajol’s ‘Suraj Huwa Madham’ magic in which Sahir really proves to us that there is not an ounce of creative integrity in his body. It lasts for just about three minutes, which means that for hours you just sit there wondering what on earth you are watching. Eventually the film end with a climax, which will appear as more of a spoof and nothing else. If Raasta is meant to be a comedy, it is an embarrassment; if it is an action film, then it’s so last decade in fact it’s several decades obsolete. What it definitely is, is a disappointment. The only thing Raasta will provide is a mockery of Sahir Lodhi’s direction, acting, writing and sanity.

We could tell you about the storyline and the plot twists but un-shockingly there isn’t any. We’d give you a spoiler alert but let’s be real, nobody cares.

Sameer, played by Sahir Lodhi is the youngest brother of the most honest police man in Pakistan. Sameer has been unemployed for eight years, despite being over qualified for every job he has ever applied for. In a serendipitous turn of events he becomes a rickshaw driver, a waiter and when the going gets tough, the biggest gangster of Karachi in the span of just 3 months. He is not a bad guy just a bad actor. You can distinguish between the many characters played by Sahir by his ever changing hair shade and leather jackets but mind you, Mr. Sameer (Sahir Lodhi) does not believe in wearing T shirts under any of them. He also doesn’t believe in dying despite being shot 4 times on numerous occasions (we counted). Like a cockroach he will even survive a nuclear holocaust if need be.

Sultan, played by Aijaz Aslam, owns whatever there is to own in this film. His face is like all the emoticons that you have ever seen, rolled into one. However, there is only so much that he can do with a half-baked character and messy plot. Sultan’s honesty is unparalleled even by being transferred 11 times despite doing a great job and only having one person on his team to capture the biggest mafia dons there are. And because of the trouble his honesty creates, his punishment is to be transferred to Karachi, why? Because it is such a demotion right?  Sultan is the quintessential stereotype of a good man, till the end where he ‘BEEP for SPOILER ALERT’ which is the most unnecessary scene of the entire film and trust us, there are many.

Bhabhi (yes they didn’t bother giving her a name) is played by Sana Naqvi whose character is as weak as her dialogues. She is what every cooking oil portrays a woman should be. She’ll cook and she’ll clean. She’ll throw in the occasional drama and will even go to bed dressed up. Yes, we can hear the men lining up around the block for this one. Bhabhi is who holds the family together and surprise surprise, she gets shot to elevate the emotional factor of the film but the joke’s on them because by the time this unfortunate event happens, most of the audience is already brain dead.

Sherry, played by Naveed Raza is the younger brother and partner of the notorious Shahnawaz, who we will come to later. Sherry is well known for his under the table dealings, bad facial twitches and camouflage suits, all of which are abundantly visible throughout the movie. He is also the arch nemesis of Sameer for reasons only Sahir Ladhi can explain but from what we gather it has something to do with being in love with the same girl who’s played by Saima Azhar, another unnamed character in this series of unfortunate events.

Shahnawaz Rajput – the biggest don that ever lived – is played by Shamoon Abbasi and is a cross between Pablo Escobar and Celine Dion; he will not shy away from taking somebody’s life for sport VIA just his smartphone. His entire life is spent in a recurring scene with his brother worrying about Sultan raiding his warehouses, with an army of two men, and flaunting his wardrobe with a cigar and arm candy (a girl who came in to avenge the death of her husband but stayed indefinitely; her integrity was really questioned throughout this film).

In conclusion, we’d suggest everyone to go to the cinema and watch this film, not because it is appreciable but because of the humor in the sheer idiocrasy and beyond logic situations and dialogues. Mr. Lodhi hinted at a sequel to this disaster at the end and we say from the deepest most pure spaces in our heart that we most definitely cannot wait.

Haider Maqsood

The author is our Haute Lahore Correspondent, who's a part time writer with a full time passion to stay candid and loud!