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19 May

Saheefa Jabbar opens up about feeling suicidal

Model-turned-actor Saheefa Jabbar, who has been making headlines for breaking stereotypes, now breaks her silence regarding her mental health. She hopes that her story will give strength to others who are fighting similar battles. She recently shared her story in an Instagram post.

“I have a very serious anxiety disease, I feel suicidal,” Saheefa confessed.

While her confession is heartbreaking, it is reflective of hundred of thousands of men and women who have anxiety issues and feel like this at some point in their life. We are proud of Saheefa to finally find the courage to share her story.

 

Sometimes i don't know what to reply to those beautiful wives, mothers, daughters who text me & tell me how they feel suicidal and are internally unhappy and how their spouse, their mothers or siblings don't understand the way they feel. They just want to self harm themselves or just want to run away. I want to confess this for the first time publically that i have a very serious anxiety disease, i feel suicidal, likewise many times i want to die too. I am blessed with the best parents, husband, in laws & am doing great in my professional and personal life, but still there is one side of me which feels incomplete. I just want to tell out to all those beautiful people who feel the same that it's okay! One fine day everything will be fine. We'll do great in our lives and there wont be any sleepless night and we wouldn't want to have an intentional accident while driving. So everyone just chill, be patient, pray, be happy and repeat! 🍻 and i believe it's high time we accept that depression, anxiety exists in our society and we should discuss and talk about it. #saheefajabbarkhattak

A post shared by Saheefa Jabbar Khattak (@saheefajabbarkhattak) on

 

“I’ve wanted to speak about this for a really long time, but I felt that people would think that I am only doing this for attention,” she shared with Something Haute when we asked why she had never spoken about it before. “This is a very sensitive issue and I don’t think anyone would use it as a publicity stunt.”

“After the first iftaar I got a message that shattered me. A girl shared her story with me and said she felt like committing suicide. I had to help! I had to reply because sometimes one reply can save a life. I’ve been there so I know,” Saheefa said, acknowledging that she too has been a victim of anxiety and depression. There were times when she too wanted to commit suicide.

 

“I’m a very emotional person. If you’ve noticed I post white pictures on Instagram, but they’re never random. Those are emotional outbursts,” she added, revealing that’s how she deals with issues that bother her.

 

 

Speaking of her mental health, Saheefa said she only discovered it a few years ago and having her husband in her life has made things easier. “There is no specific reason for depression; it can be a breakup, a dysfunctional family or a death of a closed one. And everyone copes with it in their own different way. But one should never blame the victim for feeling a certain way.”

“Everyone comes up with their own advice; get married, focus on your career, this and that. But it’s you who can heal yourself. And you do it at your own pace.”

Confessing that she did look for escape in the form of various forms of intoxication and relationships, she said nothing helped. “I had to find internal peace.”

 

Read More: Here’s why Saheefa Jabbar is selling her wedding dress

“I came out of that phase, but I still have panic attacks. I still have depression and anxiety but I’m glad I have a good support system in the form of my husband and our parents.”

Speaking about professional help, Saheefa feels it’s all a business. “I went for therapy and the minute my 60 mins were over I’d be told that I’ll be charged for taking more time. Where is the sensitivity? In fact, it’s sad to see the advice these so-called professionals give sometimes. They make everything about physical needs, and those who fall for that often get into more trouble!”

“We need to help each other fight depression without being judgemental. Also, let’s stop mixing religion with everything. A suicidal person doesn’t need to be lectured; they just need to be heard and loved.”

Muna Moini

The author is a Karachi based writer at Something Haute.