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25 Jun

7 things we wish we hadn’t seen this Ramzan

As much as I love Ramzan, this year I’m extremely disappointed. People have been at their worst; nationally, globally, politically, whether on the streets and even on television. Yes, even TV stars – infact especially TV stars – have made my blood boil and I wish I could unsee all the programs in which they are all acting insane. In no particular order, here are some of the worst TV moments this Ramzan…

 

1. Fahad Mustafa’s ‘Jeeto Pakistan’: Uncles dancing to win a bike

I had a hard time trying to narrow down only one instance that I wish I hadn’t seen on this show, but unfortunately, this whole show should cease to exist. It really reflects one of the ugliest sides of our society. So, the tagline of the show is ‘Sab Lay Jao‘, one which needs revisiting, in my opinion. It should be ‘Sab Day Jao’ including your self respect and dignity.

Fahad Mustafa

People are willing to do anything in order to win a free bike or a mobile phone. The most respectable looking individuals will dance to Madhuri Dixit’s ‘Aik Doh Teen as Fahad judges/mocks your dance moves and even your sexuality sometimes (if you dare to make eye contact with him while performing). I’m not kidding. In this particular episode, there was a line of old/middle-aged uncles, each out to beat the one who embarrassed himself before him, doing thumkas and other embarrassing pelvis-thrusting moves. Their proud wives and children were also in the audience, looking up to their role model of a father, thinking ‘one day, I will also make a joke of myself in order to win free things.’ Disgusting.

 

2. Fahad Mustafa: Girl begging for a motorbike

Now this showed me that all blame cannot be accredited to these TV shows and the hosts who run them. Our society is quite quickly becoming a bunch of freeloaders who will beg, dance or rip their clothes off on stage in order to win a free phone (this happened on another sad excuse of a TV show).

The format of the show is such that you basically have to come on stage and play ridiculous games to win free things. This one girl came to the stage and immediately started asking Fahad to give her a free bike, to which he replied ‘Aisay nai dey detay bikes. Khelna paray ga.‘ The girl then exploded into a chorus of “please Fahad bhai please!” Basically, she just wanted Fahad to simply give her the bike because her brother will take her around on it. A whole new level of shamelessness unlocked!

 

3. Waqar Zaka and Maya Khan on Jeet Plus: Woman runs around with snake around her neck

This incident is not even shocking because what did we expect? Two of the most ridiculous TV stars, Waqar Zaka and Maya Khan, are paired together for a RAMZAN show. First of all, what credibility do these two even have to host a Ramzan transmission? Second of all, why did I not trust my judgement and look away? I watched this video clip, in which an old blindfolded woman is putting her hands inside crates to feel the objects (mostly animals, ranging from rats and hamsters to crocodiles and snakes.) The fearless lady (must give her credit for that) grabbed a crocodile and waved it around before proceeding to the box with the snake in it. When her blindfold was taken off, she excitedly grabbed the snake, put it around her neck and with Waqar Zaka prompting her, ran into the audience where women were exploding into shrieks and cries for help. Or excitement. At this point, I can’t even tell anymore.

 

4. Ayesha Omar covering her hair for a Ramzan show

When we’re talking about credibility, let’s talk about Ayesha Omar covering her head with a dupatta for a Ramzan transmission. Yes, the same bold Ayesha Omar who loves her backless gowns and item numbers. I mean, I absolutely do not judge her at all for being the fearless diva that she is. But donning a dupatta over her head just for a few episodes of a Ramzan transmission seems like too much of an act. I wish Ayesha Omar hadn’t sold her soul to the devil (ironically, that’s what doing Ramzan shows have now become- money, ratings, lies) but she did. And it did not work in her favour at all.

Ayesha Omar

 

5. Hamza Ali Abbasi’s life threatened on national television

While everything else is fun and games, this is when things become serious, which is where TV channels need to understand their responsibility. While both parties have now been banned by PEMRA, it doesn’t reverse the damage caused by Maulana Kokab Noorani, who encouraged people to kill Hamza Ali Abbasi because he was asking too many questions about Ahmedis and why they are declared non-muslims in Pakistan. What angered me more while watching this on TV was the way the host was agreeing with Maulana, saying ‘wah‘ and ‘mashallah‘ to his ridiculous speech. Initially, the conversation started with the host asking Maulana what he thought of these Ramzan shows and who should be assigned to do these Ramzan transmissions (a good question actually.) Somehow this conversation ended with Maulvi sahab wanting Hamza dead.

 

6. Veena Malik makes a comeback to Ramzan transmissions

Apparently she has gone down the Junaid Jamshed route and has turned over a new , religious leaf. That is not a surprise because religion sells more than anything in this country. But somehow this just does not go down well with me. First, take a look at the promo of her show. Veena is sobbing and praying to God for forgiveness. If those are real tears and real emotions, then it shouldn’t be on national television. It’s a very private moment! And if those tears aren’t real, then it shouldn’t be on national television! Because either you’re exposing a personal connection with God on TV for money and ratings OR you are ACTING like the other Ramzan con-stars and we are not buying it one bit!

Veena Malik

She also sings naats on her show, completely decked up, fake lashes and red lips et all. Not that we don’t like fake lashes and red lipstick. It’s just not the look you go for when you’re trying to convince us that you’ve embraced a life of piety and simplicity.

 

7. Aamir Liaquat. Period.

Amir-Liaqat

Last but not the least, Amir Liaquat. I wish I hadn’t seen him at all this Ramzan. I wish I hadn’t seen his photo shoot, the one where he is dressed like a soldier but posing like he’s on the cover of PlayBoy.

Then, I wish I hadn’t seen his promo, where he achieves ‘shahadat‘ and dies while fighting for the country. Where he’s ACTING like he’s a martyr. Then, he called Taher Shah to his show again, while he himself was dressed like an ‘Angel’ wearing a blue gown (Shame on you Taher Shah! I actually thought you were kind of cool till you came on his show again, willingly) Then he pissed PEMRA off by showing ‘suicide scenes’ on his show. I haven’t seen these scenes myself, and I have no desire to go looking for them. I’m glad PEMRA finally did something to this man.

Basically, everything is a joke and I refuse to take any of these people seriously. Over and out.

 

 

 

Manal Faheem Khan

The author is Contributing Editor at Something Haute who has studied film and journalism from SZABIST. Will be found at the gym if not in the office.