Thief. Backstabber. Turncoat. Manic. Psychotic. There are so many things you may have called Mohsin in your life but never had the guts to say so to his face. Who wants to get on his bad side, right? God forbid that could be suicidal! But I did the deadly and put my head in the lions mouth. Here’s how it went when we met at Ensemble today…
Me: Mohsin, be honest, did you steal from Umar? Have you two had the fall-out of the decade that everyone is talking about?
Mohsin: But of course! I stole all of the forty lacs I am accused of, along with patterns, tailors, craftsmen and a gharara that I could only get a leg in as I wanted to run out wearing it. I really believe in connecting with the inner women in me. In fact these Body Focus outfits are giving me unclean thoughts…
Me: No but really, did you steal patterns from the Psycho label? Have you had a fall-out with Big Brother?
Mohsin: People like to believe so. Umar was in the US when I started The Pink Tree. People started calling him up to rile him against me. So basically, people happened to us!
Me: Like you have happened to so many people, Mohsin!
Mohsin: I only slap. I don’t backstab.
Me: No, you backstab too Mohsin. I’m victim of it. But then, how can I expect loyalty from a guy who didn’t spare his brother.
Mohsin: I had such dreams for myself! Years of slow poisoning went waste; I dreamt of pulling a Donatella Versace on Umar when he was hospitalized. I would have happily taken over the business. But he made a comeback and I had no choice but to steal from him.
Me: But why another fashion label?
Mohsin: I believe in connecting with my inner woman. I believe in unleashing the woman in me.
Me: The woman in you is quite out of control. Iss ko kaabu mein rakho.
Moshin: Yes. Jaisay Frieha ko apney under ka mard kaabu mein rakhna chahiye.
Me: Do you think Adnan (Amir Adnan, who joined us for this fabulous conversation) is comfortable with his feminine side?
Mohsin: I think so.
Me: And his under ka mard is inside… (pointing to Huma)!
To be fair I was labeled neither man nor woman but Boaby Farzana, queen of the khusras. I have no idea why! What an evening! Other subjects that came up in the conversation: Jibran Quraishi and his weeping willows, Dilawer Riaz and his poison prick…you can imagine how entertaining all this was but has to be subject to censor.
Leaving you with an image of Mohsin’s inner woman happily standing in Sikander’s handsome shadow…you gotta love him!