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19 Jan

Shit Pakistani Designers say!

I thought I just had to add to this craze going around on YouTube…


That bitch! She ripped off my design!

That son of a bitch! He ripped off my design!

But what made her an authority on fashion?

Oh, what does he know about fashion?

You can take a man out of Sheikhupura but you can’t take Sheikhupura out of a man!

You can take a man out of Nazimabad but you can’t take Nazimabad out of a man!

Her…a designer? What, isn’t she the one who kept calling Pucci ‘poo-si’?

Her accent is as fake as her boobs!

Her LV is like, so fake!

That Prada is like, so made in China!

Oh my God, check out the botox on that blond auntie!

Jani, where have you been?

Sweetie, where have you been?

I’m just like, dying for a vacation to Spain!

That’s not fusion. That’s confusion!

He’s not a designer. He’s a glorified darzi.

 I did the patiala shalwar twenty years ago.

I started that trend, don’t you remember back in the eighties?

Oh my God that poor model needs to retire now! Isn’t she forty plus and pregnant?

My next collection is going to blow you away!

Is there a recession? Heck no, our sales have been better than ever!

I sold every single piece from the new collection!

Oh, they gave us a standing ovation in Milan.

Oh, they gave us a standing ovation in Paris.

Oh, they’ve bought my entire collection in New York.

Oh, but my store has shut down in Pakistan.

I’m so over-worked!

I’m so sick of doing red carpets jaani!

I’m Pakistan’s Queen of couture. No, I don’t have a retail outlet yet.

Oh, we’re much better than India and India knows it.

They’re so threatened.

He’s so threatened.

She’s so threatened.

The west is so interested in Pakistani fashion right now.

We’re very popular in London.

We export to America.

No, we don’t have a website yet!

The Lux Style Awards have no cred. It’s the same people every year.

Oh, You have to be friends with Fareshteh to get an award!

Oh, you have to be friends with Frieha to get a show!

Which fashion week will I be showing at?

Dahling, I’m starting my own!


The Haute Team

This article is written by one of our competent team members.

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